Body Positivity
Something we all struggle with whether we would like to admit it or not
By Sienna Hicks
Photograph by Dalia Janian, modeled by Keeyana Mélissa Ezna
The beaches are open, summer is near, so now I'm supposed to strip off my clothes and have no fear?
I am a very carefree person. I have a “stare-all-you-want”, ‘don’t-give-no-fucks” kind of mentality. I try to be positive, and be happy in my own skin, but damn, summer sure does make it difficult.
From being stuck inside with nothing to do but snack and watch Netflix, we’re now expected to go outside, put on a bikini, and go swimming?
I mean, I am all for it. I am excited to get out of my house and get away from my family, but I just need to have the right mindset. I am a 19 year old woman trying to not let the models' perfect body types get to me. I know that it’s cooler now to have a different body type, and ok to have tummy rolls, but as I sit here and write this while eating goldfish in bed, I have to think, “Am I really happy with the way I look?”
Can I put on a bikini and go, “Damn, I want to be her,” or “That's the body type I desire”? Honestly, probably not, because even though I love and think any body type is beautiful-I really do-it’s hard to respect myself the way I respect others.
I guess my self confidence comes from what I put into my appearance. The amount of time I spend putting together an outfit, or executing a flawless makeup look, affects the score I would give myself.
“Hmm, you're only wearing winged eyeliner and jeans today, Sienna. I would only give you a 5.”
“Oooh, your arms look fat in that shirt. Wear a jacket and I will give you a 6.”
“A full face of makeup? Yes queen! We can ignore your greasy hair today.”
If we were to rate other people we know in this way, we would get told that it isn’t right to judge, and that it’s rude, so why do we do it to ourselves?
I guess because we're obsessed with ourselves.
We're now stuck with our own bodies, alone with no reason to dress up, so we are breaking the self confidence that we might have built up before being confined with our own skin.
People have always compared themselves to others, forever; it’s never not been a thing.
But originality is becoming the new norm. It's more respected now, and we are accepting that it’s ok to not meet the societal standards of a perfect body.
I look back on pictures of 17 year old Sienna in high school, who was playing soccer everyday and had a flat stomach, and envy her.
But what good does that do?
It’s hard being a woman. I know we say that all the time, but it really is difficult. I shouldn’t complain, because being a woman is awesome, but damn, society really does influence us.
Something interesting I have seen on TikTok during quarantine is people putting on makeup at home for fun saying, “See, I am doing this for myself, not for anyone else.”
It’s just sad to me that this even has to be said, because of course we look good for ourselves. If we don’t look good, we don’t usually feel good.
Body positivity, man. It’s hard to master. I don’t know anyone who really has mastered it.
What would it mean to be fully at home in your body? You would not only have to accept the body you have, but love and worship every part of it.
“I love you, big toe. You help me walk.”
“I love you, nose. You give me the ability to taste.”
“I love you, female reproductive system, even though you give me so much pain. You make babies”.
Yeah, no…
I don’t think I could ever be 100% in love with my body and everything it does.
I think it’s about accepting that your body is your body, no matter how much you wish you looked like *insert celebrity of choice here*. They have personal trainers, and pay doctors to make them look how they look.
We are natural, strong, and interesting.
We are freckled, stretched, and blossoming.
We are, Human?
Brb, I am going to buy 4 new bikinis because I am not going to let my current body weight dictate my summer plans.