Breaking Ice
By Nicole Hediger
Photograph by Jailli
You sit down beside me like it is where you have belonged all along, which at one point it was. It was a seat like the ones in kindergarten, with your name written on the back in permanent marker, but yours must have been written in pencil because it was so easily erased. And for the first time in a long time I see your eyes.
I was on the ice again, lost in a lake that was waiting patiently to swallow me whole. An early winter wind ripped open my coat, leaving it bellowing in its wake, as my brother’s borrowed snow boots started to stick to the frozen surface of the lake. I had made it further than Anna and Isabella, standing where the ice had been worn thin from the rushing waters beneath. The wooden dock behind me, which in the crisp air groaned under our weight, was out of reach by two feet or so. My legs were trembling; I am still unsure if it was from the temperature or the circumstances, as you, Anna, and Isabella cheered from the docks, screaming for me to slip and slide my way out to where the ice was so thin it splintered from the mere thought of the pressure I would place on its surface. I stood still, arms outstretched to my side as if I were walking a tightrope, and my eyes were trained on you, standing on the dock.
You huffed out clouds of warm air, never once turning to look at the others who would find something else to talk about the longer I contemplated my demise. We both knew the ice would be too thin out towards the center of the lake. We both knew that I, being the tallest, would crumble through it like a house of cards against a slight breeze. We both knew I wouldn’t be going any further and the two of us smiled at that thought. Because despite my inability to march myself over to hover where the fish still swarm in the water, I had made it the farthest. I stood where no one else had.
Anna and Isabella moved to dangle now. Their legs only a few inches away from the sheet of ice as they sat on the edge of the dock, resting their heads on the chipped wood fencing. But you climbed over. You sat on the top bar, beaming a friendly smile my way.
“Come on back!” You hollered and the winter trees awoke at the echo that ran through their bare branches. Anna and Isabella let out a low sigh, shaking their heads, standing once again. They began walking off, their thoughts of me alone on the ice dwindling with every step they took away from us. You must have seen my brow furrow for you smiled again and waved me back to the safety that the shore brought.
I began my trek back, moving my feet one at a time, sliding them against the ice. My eyes wandered up past you to the black trees that awaited my fall with much fervor. Goosebumps were sent across my skin as I thought about the trees behind me, reaching across the lake to tug me out further. I swiftly turned on the ice, my legs slipping out in front of me, bringing me crashing to the hard surface. The black trees emitted a low chuckle with their wind-whistle laughs, and somehow over it all I heard the dreaded sound.
The ice hissed out a crack.
A separation in the ice splintered towards my feet and I could hear the waters surging forward towards my toes, yearning to lick at the soles of my shoes.
“Hurry!” You called from behind me. I scrambled to my feet as the laughing of the ice grew louder and the trees started back for me. The water oozed up onto the surface and chased after my boots. I shut my eyes as I ran on the ice. Just as I thought that the water would swallow me whole, I felt your hands reach down to grab me. With more strength than a young girl is told to have, you hoisted me to the docks. I fell back against the hardwood, slamming my head against one of the panels and let out a low gasp for air that I had not known I was out of. You settled down beside me, laughing slightly as you looked my way.
“I’ve got you.” You held a dark blue sparkle of danger and excitement. It was that sparkle that had made us such great friends.
I blush when I see the same glint in your eyes now. A hand rushes to cover my cheeks as I burn red from embarrassment at how old I have grown. I touch my eyes- wondering if you see the same girl there.