The Case of MILFs, DILFs, and Sexual Misconduct on TikTok
Some may call American Pie an iconic piece of teenage depravity while others may refer to it as a raunchy comedy. Regardless of these differing opinions, writers of this film did not expect that John (John Cho) viewing Stifler’s (Sean William Scott) mom to be a MILF would cause Americans to adopt a new phrase into their lexicon.
For all those who don’t know, the acronym MILF means “Mom I Would Like To Fuck.” While many times the term is taken literally, it can also refer to “women who are considered middle age.” There is the Freudian explanation of why people are attracted to so-called “MILFS,” but there’s also a more prevalent reason which is that younger people view older women as more sexually experienced than their peers. To be seen as a MILF, “is to be praised for looking like [they’re] NOT somebody's mother — fuckable not because [their] concern for [their] kids reflects well on [them], but because [they’ve] successfully erased all signs of motherhood.” The word DILF seemed to be a shoddy rendition of MILF for men. According to Mic, the main appeal of a DILF “is rooted in the DILF's proud, public devotion to his kids, which immediately confirms that he's a sensitive, accountable sweetheart who'd probably be down to split household duties in an egalitarian way.”
Like everything else in 2021, these acronyms have found their way to TikTok, the home of white-washed dances, teenage disputes, and rushed discourse. Irrespective of where somebody is in the TikTok ecosystem, they will come in contact with those two words. Even if it may appear to be a frivolous concern, the current usage of the phrases MILF and DILF on TikTok, can lead to sexual harassment, hyper-sexualization, and predatory behavior coming from various TikTok users. There are three main ways people profess their love for MIlFs or DILFs on the app. One way is through TikTok bios and profile pics. It’s a regular occurrence to come across an account that has an “I heart MILFs” or “I heart DILFS” profile picture. If accounts aren’t using the profile picture, they usually mention it in their bio. A more apparent way is how younger people have been in contact or would like to be in contact with so-called “MILFs” and “DILFs”. The last method is videos of young men, women and non-binary people saying they want to be a or will be future MILF or DILF.
All this discourse on the app surrounding these two phrases have made so-called “MILF” and “DILF” accounts even more popular on TikTok. These accounts usually revolve around older men and women showcasing their bodies to the general public. Sometimes the comments under their videos are “you’re pretty”, “you’re attractive”, or “you’re hot.” Occasionally, you’ll have users saying “Rail Me” or “I know it's big.” In the real world, these comments would and should be considered sexual harassment. One could say that there are real world consequences for these types of words. More often than not, these concerns are swept under the rug which emboldens people on the internet. If there are no consequences in the real world, there definitely will be none on the internet. Though these users are able to go about their day, the creators of these accounts have to deal with the repercussions. For women, the aftermath of objectification can lead to “depression, anxiety, eating disorders, body dysmorphic disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorders, reproductive concerns, parenting issues or relationship crises.” Men on the other hand deal with “relationship issues and loneliness.”
It’s important to establish that sexual harassment is never warranted and should never be tolerated even when the perpetrators are younger than the victim. Nevertheless, it is quite concerning that these older men and older women are coming on to an app populated by teenagers and young adults and pining for approval and admiration. To make matters worse, these individuals sometimes like comments, which are sexual in nature, from minors. If these creators run accounts like that, should they take it upon themselves to make sure the comments they are interacting with aren’t from minors? These individuals have no control over who sees their content but they do have control over who they interact with. Lastly, when younger people brand themselves as future MILFs or DILFs, it’s a bit off, because the implication is that you want your child's friends or people demonstrably younger than you to find you attractive.
One of the things Gen Z prides themselves on is being open about everything whether its race, politics, gender, or sexuality. Having this type of attitude is a blessing because topics that were once considered taboo can be talked about openly. Despite all the positives, people's personal boundaries can and will be crossed, especially on the internet. People will use the ability to have free conversations as a way to be misogynistic and to objectify women. On the other hand, while the word MILF has misogynistic undertones, many have used that tool as a term for their own empowerment. DILF may not have the same misogynistic undertones, but can still be used to objectify various people. Though many people use this terminology with a sense of pride and empowerment, it should not give folks an allowance to engage in predatory behavior. In all, TikTok is a diverse place where people can escape from reality and enjoy themselves. While escapism is vital, the safety of all users on TikTok should be prioritized above all else. ◆