Remedy Melodies 17: Too Late For Love?
Remedy Melodies, originally conceived by writer Daniela Bologna, is something like a lyrical advice column. Based on reader-submitted confessions, the Sunstroke team crafts a personalized playlist to lift, fit or change your mood.
Reader: I have known I was queer since I was 14. It was difficult having grown up in a conservative household but I made it work by being a completely different person at home. Because I was so scared of my family finding out I was queer, I never dated. Now I am 24 years old and have only had crushes, been on two dates, and have had no partner. I feel like I was robbed of an adolescence because of the homophobic house I grew up in and then again in college because of COVID. I scroll through Instagram and see pictures of people who have an entire queer community — friends, partners, etc. and it makes me so unbelievably sad. While I love my friends so much, sometimes I wonder if I’ll ever experience romance. Lately, the answer feels like a no. I yearn for all the firsts but am scared I’ll never get to experience them.
Shelby: I feel so deeply for you not being able to experience all those firsts (dates, loves, etc) because of a homophobic situation, but the wonderful thing about queerness is that there is no concrete timeline to follow. It may feel like you're miles behind the couples celebrating milestones on Instagram. However, it is such a common experience for queer folks to have many of their coming of age experiences later in life.
I can promise you that you are not the only 20-something queer person wondering if they missed their chance at romance, even if it is not an experience people talk about often. Be kind to yourself, especially about the circumstances you cannot control, such as homophobia and COVID. You still have a whole lot of life and chances at romance in front of you, and you may meet other queer folks also looking to experience those coming-of-age romance just like you along the way.